Robin Williams died. He died by his own hands; his own decision.
He had everything at his disposal. Fame, money, family, accolades…. the works.
He also had depression. And apparently depression had a greater hold on him than everything else.
I might have a unique insight into his frame of mind. You see I have battled depression. It is some of my earliest memories in fact. When I became a mom for the second time I battled postpartum depression and my poor husband had to wade the waters of emotional tidal waves like a very skilled surfer.
Depression is debilitating. Depression is isolating. Depression is like the epic battle of David and Goliath, and the only people who get out alive are the fortunate ones with a skilled hand and a rock.
Hollywood takes sensitive souls and lifts them to the highest of highs only to release their golden hands at a moments notice when you are no longer useful to them. One of my drama coaches once infamously stated to our class that “Remember this is SHOW BUSINESS. SHOW+BUSINESS. If you aren’t ready for both then you aren’t ready”. It makes complete sense. Those who are sensitive and talented enough to reach the pinnacles of standard success are usually the ones who are the most susceptible to the demons that lay dormant within. To find the talent you must reach inside the depths of your soul to find the pain, to find the joy, to find the profoundness of the human spirit.
This isn’t the first star to fall by his own choices. Just do a quick internet search and you will find a plethora of starlets who were desperate for more more more to fill the big gapping hole in their soul. Many lost the battle. But there are many more still alive and still fighting the hostility of Hollywood.
I don’t agree with Robin Williams decision to do what he did.
But I get it.
In the darkness of night a frightening voice calls from within to end it all. And sometimes the hurting respond to the call.
No matter how much money, how much fame, how much excess you have, it doesn’t stop the demon in your head whispering untruths in your delicate ear.
And I truly believe that it is by the Grace of God that saves the lost. I know He did me. And it breaks my fragile heart that not everyone grabs ahold of the life raft that Jesus throws down to us.