When the kids went to bed I began my search. I started where any 21st century modern gal starts. Google of course.
The mountain of finding a stranger seemed daunting with such a lack of information about him, but I was determined this time. I knew his name and home state. Face-book seemed like a good place as any. Unfortunately my search came up with nothing. It truly felt like finding a needle in a world wide web haystack. I then went to various sites seeking out a person with his name. I zeroed in on a particular person. Something was drawing me to this particular residence and family. I poked a little more but was hesitant to pay big money to investigate. Apparently I’m a P.I. cheapskate.
After looking up various sources to obtain someone’s most private yet public information, I decided to bet my money on this family. I wound up paying $1 for a 6 day trial. I was able to obtain weird information and useful phone numbers.
I finally made my first phone call convinced this was it.
“ding ding ding…. I’m sorry, but the number you have reached has been disconnected”
My heart sank, but I wasn’t even deterred one bit. Any reasonable person would have. I had lost focus and became unreasonable. Either that or simply determined.
Music Man came home to me obsessing and pouring over my computer. He must have seen my laser beam concentration and made a wise move. He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t judge. He didn’t lecture me on why I shouldn’t be doing this. He simply asked what he could do to help. He grabbed my birth certificate when I needed confirmation of his hometown.
I called the second number I had.
The fax machine blasted my ear. Again, my heart sank, this time just a little further.
The day was roaring on by. I had one last number for this family. Music Man went to quickly pick up the boys from the preschool. I decided that this would be my last shot for the day to make the call. My big girl plan was to listen to the answering machine and then hang up. Super mature, I know.
“Riiiiiiing….. Hello?” (A man answered?! What do I do now???) “Hello??”
“Oh Hello. Is [bio dad’s name] there?”
“Is this him?”
(my heart began to pound)
“(light hearted giggles) Oh…..(think Kandi think!!!)….. um, were you ever married to [mom’s maiden name]?”
“(his voice drops to a near whisper) Yes”
(My heart pounds out of my chest and I begin to shake and I can barely say the next sentence)
“And did you ever have a kid?”
He leans away from the phone and says quietly “[wife’s name] …. it’s my daughter”
*to be continued*